Divorce sucks. Divorce hurts. It's no fun for anyone involved. I don't care how mad you are, it's still surreal realizing the last 7 years of your life are coming to a close. Everything you built, or thought you built, over the years is ending. Your dreams, your hopes, your life...everything will change. But I guess change is something I'm used to these days. Doesn't make it easier, but it makes it a little more bareable. It's something I've learned to not be afraid of.
As I look back over the last seven years of my life, I'm appreciative of all the good times I've had. I'm appreciative of all the bad, because in some weird way, the bad times made me realize even more what I want in this life. They've made me realize what is important. That I will NOT settle for less than what my children and I deserve and what God expects a family to be.
Do I regret the last seven years of my life? Absolutely not. I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat if that's what it took to have Anna Lynn and Tripp in my life. They make my life worthwhile. They make me want to be a better person. A better mother. A better daughter. A better child of God. They ARE my life, and for that, I am thankful.
Life is short. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. We're not guaranteed the rest of today. What we do with our time is in our own hands. Our happiness is up to us. So, in order for me to find the true happiness I want, I deserve, I need...I'm moving on. I not waiting anymore for other people to change in order for me to be happy. It's up to me. No one else.
As I set off in a new direction in my life, I pray for God to give me the strength and guidance he's given me throughout the past year. I don't know exactly what lies ahead, but we'll make it through whatever comes our way. As long as my path leads me closer to Him, I know it's the right direction. It's not always easy to make yourself walk down a path you know is going to be difficult, but sometimes the destination is worth struggle you endure along the way.
So, yes, this sucks. This hurts. But we're gonna make it through. We are a team. Me, Anna Bugs, Trippers, and God.